healing journey
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The Bloodbath of Healing
People don’t understand that healing isn’t a glow-up. It’s a bloodbath. It’s standing in the wreckage of everything you tolerated and realizing the monster wasn’t just him – it was the version of you that stayed. The one who kept… Continue reading
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The Ones Who Stayed When No One Else Did
A haunting reflection on the kind of darkness that doesn’t visit – it becomes you. This piece explores the truth that sometimes our demons aren’t intruders at all, but the guardians that kept us alive when no one else did. Continue reading
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The Strength in Breaking
He thought breaking me in half would make me easier to control. What he never understood was that each broken piece carried its own strength, and when I gathered them back together, I became something whole that he could never… Continue reading
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If You Only Knew the Half of It
When people talk about survival after marriage, they often mean the heartbreak, the loneliness, the empty house. My story was different. Survival for me meant outlasting cruelty that didn’t end when the vows did. It meant facing not only a… Continue reading
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Progress Is Not a Straight Line
I still lock every door twice, even when I know it is safe. I still catch myself replaying conversations in my head, analyzing every word and wondering if I said the wrong thing. Some mornings I wake up with my… Continue reading
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The Grief of Teaching Yourself Love
There’s a grief no one prepares you for – the grief of realizing you were never given the kind of love that makes you feel safe, and that you have to teach it to yourself from scratch. It isn’t loud,… Continue reading
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Holding It All Together Nearly Broke Me
I didn’t notice the burnout at first. I just thought I was tired. Of course I was tired. But then the tired didn’t go away. It didn’t matter how much I slept – or didn’t. I’d wake up with heaviness… Continue reading
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I Built the Life. Then My Body Broke Down.
For years, I didn’t stop. Work all day, come home and mother, then study deep into the night. Some nights I was up until two, sometimes three in the morning, chasing a degree that felt like survival, not ambition. People… Continue reading
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For Me. For Him. For Us.
I used to think healing meant finding the right words to make people understand. To explain why I stayed so long. Why I kept hoping. Why I kept trying to make it work when it was already broken. I wanted… Continue reading
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When Distance Was the Only Way I Knew to Stay Safe
You don’t know how often I rehearsed distance in my mind. I told myself what to say if I saw you. I practiced not looking too long, not smiling too much, not letting my voice give anything away. I made… Continue reading
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Why I Always Kept One Foot Out the Door
He asked why I always seemed half-in. Why I’d smile with my whole face but hold something back with my body. Why I wouldn’t let him pick me up from the airport or leave a toothbrush at his place. He… Continue reading
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What My Chest Has Been Trying to Say
There’s a pressure in my chest I can’t always name. It comes quietly, without cause, and settles in deep. It’s not sharp like panic or loud like heartbreak. It’s steady. Ancient. Like something that has been waiting a long time… Continue reading
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Frozen Without Warning
It’s hard to explain how fast it changes. I can be fully present – listening, laughing, even making eye contact – and then suddenly, something in me goes quiet. It doesn’t always take a trigger. Sometimes it’s just a tone,… Continue reading
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The Quiet Collapse
I can be doing everything right. Drinking water. Getting enough sleep. Moving my body. Smiling at people in the hallway. Laughing at the right parts of a conversation. On paper, I look like I’m okay. Like someone who has their… Continue reading
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The Ache Beneath the Armor
It’s hard to ask for help when your trauma taught you that needing anything makes you a burden. So I don’t. I keep it in. I figure it out. I carry what’s too heavy because somewhere along the way, I… Continue reading
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Give Me Ground, Not Fireworks
I crave safety the way some people chase thrill. I’m not looking to be swept off my feet. I’m looking for ground that won’t disappear beneath me. The kind of peace that doesn’t feel like a pause before the next… Continue reading
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When the Ache Isn’t Physical
There are nights where I feel it in my shoulders first – a dull heaviness that sinks in without warning. Then in my chest. My back. My legs. A full-body ache that doesn’t have a source I can name. No… Continue reading
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The Silence That Startles Me
Some days, nothing looks wrong on the outside. The coffee is warm. The morning is quiet. The world moves normally. But then something small – a sharp tone, footsteps too loud, a door closing a little too hard – lands… Continue reading
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Slowness Is How I Know I’m Safe
I don’t play hard to get. That’s never been my game. I don’t need to be chased or proven right. I just move slowly where I’ve learned to be cautious. When you’ve handed your heart to people who held it… Continue reading
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Too Much for the Wrong Hands
He kept calling me complicated, like it was a flaw I hadn’t yet apologized for. He said it in that tone people use when they’re tired but won’t admit they’re out of depth. The thing is, I’ve been called complicated… Continue reading
Light Calls To Light 