Glow of Light
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Why I Always Kept One Foot Out the Door
He asked why I always seemed half-in. Why I’d smile with my whole face but hold something back with my body. Why I wouldn’t let him pick me up from the airport or leave a toothbrush at his place. He… Continue reading
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We Protected the Moment by Pretending It Wasn’t Real
Some memories stay sharp no matter how much time passes. Not because they were loud or dramatic, but because they lived in silence. In glances. In the way his hand almost reached for mine but didn’t. In the way we… Continue reading
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So who really killed Brian Thompson?
Brian Thompson was shot and killed early in the morning on December 4, 2024. He had just walked out of the New York Hilton Midtown hotel and was on his way to an investor conference. It was still dark outside.… Continue reading
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The Way Trauma Speaks
Some days, I still don’t know how to explain what I’ve lived through. I only know the way my stomach drops without warning. The way silence can feel louder than shouting. The way my body stiffens at a familiar sound… Continue reading
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Trust, Taught Gently
If I’m slow to trust, it’s because my body remembers what my mind learned too young. That love could turn cold without warning. That closeness didn’t always mean safety. I learned to read between the lines of someone’s tone, to… Continue reading
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Managing Other People’s Feelings Nearly Broke Me
Some of us didn’t learn boundaries. We learned tone. We learned how to scan a room for tension before stepping inside. We became experts at mood prediction, emotional buffering, and speaking in a voice that wouldn’t provoke. Not because we… Continue reading
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What My Chest Has Been Trying to Say
There’s a pressure in my chest I can’t always name. It comes quietly, without cause, and settles in deep. It’s not sharp like panic or loud like heartbreak. It’s steady. Ancient. Like something that has been waiting a long time… Continue reading
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Frozen Without Warning
It’s hard to explain how fast it changes. I can be fully present – listening, laughing, even making eye contact – and then suddenly, something in me goes quiet. It doesn’t always take a trigger. Sometimes it’s just a tone,… Continue reading
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The Quiet Collapse
I can be doing everything right. Drinking water. Getting enough sleep. Moving my body. Smiling at people in the hallway. Laughing at the right parts of a conversation. On paper, I look like I’m okay. Like someone who has their… Continue reading
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Socks, Skies, and Silence
I don’t always know what safety feels like when it comes to people. I’ve been wrong before. Trusted the tone instead of the truth. Believed calm voices that came with cold eyes. So now I look for it in smaller… Continue reading
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Every Yes Costs Me Something
What they don’t see is the hesitation sitting in my chest before I even open the message. The way my heart races while my fingers hover over the keyboard. The way I read the same invitation three times, weighing every… Continue reading
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The Ache Beneath the Armor
It’s hard to ask for help when your trauma taught you that needing anything makes you a burden. So I don’t. I keep it in. I figure it out. I carry what’s too heavy because somewhere along the way, I… Continue reading
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Give Me Ground, Not Fireworks
I crave safety the way some people chase thrill. I’m not looking to be swept off my feet. I’m looking for ground that won’t disappear beneath me. The kind of peace that doesn’t feel like a pause before the next… Continue reading
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When the Ache Isn’t Physical
There are nights where I feel it in my shoulders first – a dull heaviness that sinks in without warning. Then in my chest. My back. My legs. A full-body ache that doesn’t have a source I can name. No… Continue reading
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The Silence That Startles Me
Some days, nothing looks wrong on the outside. The coffee is warm. The morning is quiet. The world moves normally. But then something small – a sharp tone, footsteps too loud, a door closing a little too hard – lands… Continue reading
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When Being Here Is All I Can Do
Some days I can talk to everyone. I can hold conversations, respond with ease, make people laugh, even carry their emotions alongside my own. I show up, I seem fine, I am fine – for a while. Other days, replying… Continue reading
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When Explaining Becomes Exhausting
I stopped explaining my triggers. Not out of bitterness. Not even out of pride. I just got tired of watching people’s eyes glaze over halfway through my sentence. Of feeling like I was offering pieces of my pain to people… Continue reading
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He Measured Me Like a Threat
He used to stand in the doorway like a gatekeeper, arms crossed, eyes moving over me not with admiration, but with possession. There was something cold in the way he looked at me – like he was searching for something… Continue reading
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What Time Can’t Touch
They say time heals. And maybe, on the surface, it does. Maybe the days stretch out just long enough to soften the sharpest edges, to make it easier to speak without your voice shaking, to carry the weight without dropping… Continue reading
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Somewhere Between Silence and Surrender
We were always one breath away from too much. There was a gravity between us, subtle but undeniable – like standing on the edge of something vast, knowing one more step would pull us under. We didn’t touch, not really.… Continue reading
Light Calls To Light 