Latest Posts
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I Built the Life. Then My Body Broke Down.
For years, I didn’t stop. Work all day, come home and mother, then study deep into the night. Some nights I was up until two, sometimes three in the morning, chasing a degree that felt like survival, not ambition. People… Continue reading
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For Me. For Him. For Us.
I used to think healing meant finding the right words to make people understand. To explain why I stayed so long. Why I kept hoping. Why I kept trying to make it work when it was already broken. I wanted… Continue reading
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The Distance I Don’t Know How to Cross
Sometimes I catch myself staring at your hands, your mouth, the way you breathe when you’re thinking. It’s stupid, how much I notice. I memorize you without permission, like I’m preparing for a goodbye I never agreed to. I tell… Continue reading
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Slow Isn’t Boring When It Feels Like Safety
I don’t know how to explain it. The way I feel pulled toward you, even when I’m doing everything I can to keep my distance. It’s not about fear of you – it’s what you bring up in me. You… Continue reading
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Where the Shaking Comes From
I used to spiral when it happened. The tight chest. The sudden urge to flee a room that felt perfectly safe a second ago. I’d call myself dramatic. Weak. I’d ask what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t just… Continue reading
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When Distance Was the Only Way I Knew to Stay Safe
You don’t know how often I rehearsed distance in my mind. I told myself what to say if I saw you. I practiced not looking too long, not smiling too much, not letting my voice give anything away. I made… Continue reading
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When Love Meant Disappearing: Grieving the Self I Had to Bury to Be “Enough”
There’s a grief that doesn’t announce itself loudly. It comes in quiet waves, often when you’re doing something ordinary – folding laundry, locking the front door, hearing someone say “I’m proud of you” in a way that sounds like they… Continue reading
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The Hour That Saved Me: Finding Safety Before the World Woke Up
Some mornings I’d quietly slip out of bed while it was still dark. I didn’t turn on the lights. I didn’t make a sound. I just needed that one hour where I wasn’t being watched, evaluated, or interrupted. An hour… Continue reading
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The Love I Never Said Out Loud
I used to think love had to be loud to count. That it had to come with declarations and certainty and all the things movies make look easy. But what I felt for him never moved like that. It was… Continue reading
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Why I Always Kept One Foot Out the Door
He asked why I always seemed half-in. Why I’d smile with my whole face but hold something back with my body. Why I wouldn’t let him pick me up from the airport or leave a toothbrush at his place. He… Continue reading
Light Calls To Light 